


Cry

by Vault_Emblem



Category: Marvel, X-Factor (Comics), X-Force (Comics)
Genre: Crying, Emotional Constipation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Shatterstar being shit at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 05:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem
Summary: Sometimes Shatterstar cries.





	Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to explore this thought that I had about Shatterstar. I mean we know that he's shit at feelings, so what if his body reacts instead of his mind?  
> I feel like it must've happened sometimes that he started crying without understanding why or how, so I wanted to write something about it.

There are times in which Star cries.

It doesn’t happen often, and even when it does usually it’s just a couple of tears. Nothing too big for a normal human being, but not for Star and not for Julio as well.

 

The first times it happened, Julio didn’t know what to do.

The most unsettling thing was that Star didn’t even react, or at least he didn’t react like people usually do: they might’ve been talking about stuff, watching a movie or anything else and tears would start pouring from his eyes.

Even Star seemed surprised when it happened, touching his face with a startled expression.

 

He knew what crying meant from tv, but he never experienced it on himself.

He did not know what to do.

 

Usually what Julio did was try to help him understand why it was happening.

Shatterstar knew the basics: people cried when they were sad, but what did being sad mean? How did someone become sad? That, he did not know.

 

He would tell Julio what happened that day and together they would try to figure out why he was reacting like that.

Usually they just ended up more confused than before, but talking was good for Shatterstar and he always managed to feel better, even though he was still getting used to having to express things out loud.

 

 

Since Julio left, Shatterstar had never cried. This is what everybody in the team believed.

The truth was that he did, but now he had learned how to discern the signs of it happening and was able to get away from anyone before it started, not that they would have stopped him; most of them hanged out with him just out of pity.

 

Those times, however, he knew the reason why he was crying: he missed Julio.

It would usually pass very fast – he never cried for too long – but it always left a gaping sensation in his body, as if someone had stabbed him right through his chest.

He did not understand why.

 

 

When Julio came back Shatterstar felt like crying, which was weird.

Why would he be sad that Julio was back? If anything he was supposed to feel the opposite, or at least he thought so.

He did feel bad for this; after so much time since he last saw his dearest – and only – friend all he wanted to do was to cry.

 

When he apologized to Julio and explained his reasons, Rictor smiled softly.

\- It’s fine -, he said, - People cry for different reasons, not just because they’re sad -.

 

Shatterstar learned that there were many things that could make one cry, and the return of a dear friend could be one of them.

It was not inherently a bad thing. Sometimes crying was good.

 

It still felt confusing, but Star thought he was getting the hang of it, more or less.

Sooner or later he was going to figure this out.

 

 

Time has passed and Star still cries from time to time.

It usually happens at night, when he and Julio are in bed, which is probably the best for everybody. Julio can’t help but to cringe at the mere thought of Guido having to deal with this; it would be a complete disaster.

 

He’s made Star promise that if he starts crying while he’s asleep he’s going to wake him up and Star does not necessarily want to do it – Julio looks so peaceful when he sleeps – but he made a promise so he does it, every time.

 

Julio’s become much better at calming him down.

He would rub gentle circles around his temples with his fingers and then he goes down on his shoulders and on his back.

He would start talking about anything that comes to his mind and they often find themselves discussing some shitty plot point from a shitty tv series, but as long as Star gets better it’s fine.

 

Sometimes even that isn’t enough and Julio hugs him close, whispers kind words to him, lets him unwind.

It breaks his heart seeing him like this, but it’s better to cry than to be repressed, he knows this.

 

There are many reasons why Star cries, Julio has found out: his memories, those damn memories of the life he led before coming to Earth, the physical pain he’s had to endure all his life, his family, the family he knows that exists but that can’t know about this bond.

 

There are many reasons why Star cries but there’s solace in knowing that no matter what, Julio will always be with him, ready to cheer him up in these moments of desperation.


End file.
